Stem cell o’clock!

After living with leukaemia for the last two years, I have learnt that we cancer warriors (A given title) are strong! I don't mean the strength you see in the gym; I mean an inner strength you didn't even know you had yourself!

It wasn't an easy decision to go down the stem cell transplant route; my treatment started to fail, and I was running out of options, but a stem cell transplant meant an extended stay in the hospital, giving up work, time with Poppy, my daughter, and rebuilding my body, which can take up to a year to even feel normal again, this isn't even guaranteed! So I'm sure you can imagine it was a big decision and not one I made quickly!

The lure of a life with fewer hospital appointments, fewer illnesses, and finally cancer-free was the decider, tho! I can't tell you how fed up going for tests I was getting! Especially when I only wanted to focus on Poppy, my excellent business, and my life!

So stem-cell o'clock it was to be!

This has been met with misunderstandings, a lack of empathy and crazy inappropriate jokes! (Most from me)

To the guy who called it my hospital vacation... you are lucky!

To most people, it's been understood as a crazy, arduous journey, and my support network is immense!

But let me ask you if you were told that you had to face isolation, sickness beyond belief, zero energy, hair loss, skin rashes, infections after infections, liver damage, the sorest mouth you can imagine, not to mention bum! Loneliness, no hugs, kisses, only 2 hours a week with your child, needles, constant interruptions when you just want to sleep, lack of dignity, no independence, hospital food, the same four walls for up to 4 weeks only to be swopped with another four walls for another 70 days... would you take it?

Basically, I'm a machine! I have had to dig deeper than ever before and create a countdown to a new, healthier life... To not see it as one more day in the hospital but as another day of recovery closer to the life I want!

I want to spend as much time with the people I love as possible, travel, and grow my business into a small empire! So, with this comes hope!

I hope that those little stem cells take hold and build me a new life!

Come on little ones! I'm rooting for you and I promise each day I gat as an extra I will enjoy everyhting... Fresh air, hugs, the sounds of birds singing, poppys laughter, moring sunlight and the feeling of my own bed to name a few...

So come on, life, I'm ready for you!

The Buzz Cut!

Losing my hair was the thing I was dreading most!

It shouldn't have been my biggest worry!

However, until you face this, you cannot comprehend how you will feel about it!

Throughout this whole cancer journey, I have been worried about many things and each time it comes to facing them, they are never as bad as you think!

My mindset is! My old hair was my cancer hair! It must make room for my new, healthy, cancer-free hair!

It is an easy mindset when you are in a good place. However, after the buzz cut, it wasn't long before the self-conscious demons set in.

In my case, it was pretty quickly afterwards!

I grabbed a headscarf and covered up. It wasn't until the next day that one of my closest friends walked into my hospital room. Knowing me well, he said, "What's that on your head? Get it off and own it" After a 10-minute pep talk, I braved it. I removed the headscarf and spent the rest of the day enjoying my new look!

If you are facing this, my advice is to surround yourself with people who will lift you and make you laugh! 😆

People who understand and empathise!

It might be the scariest thing you face, but it's another milestone to beat cancer!

I was told, "Don't worry. Your beauty will return."

I say! Fuck that! Have you seen me? I'm stunning; my confidence, empathy, strength and bravery are my beauty!

I hope I've inspired you to see that no matter your face, you will find the strength to overcome it and smile! 😃